Communication & Confidence Coach in Singapore
I’m Ellery, a communication and confidence coach, based in Singapore. I help you be more effective in your interpersonal communication, and increase your confidence and visibility at the workplace.
Certified ontological life coach
I’m a Professional Certified Coach with the ICF and a Newfield Certified Coach through the Newfield Network. I’m also the first Embodied Yoga Principles Certified Coach in Asia. At the core, I’m an ontologically-trained life coach; I also draw from a diverse body of work, such as Gestalt psychotherapy and the field of Organization Development.
I have extensive experience as a communication and confidence coach because over the years, these two areas were what most of my clients first sought me for. I can help you to communicate more effectively, increase confidence, improve relationships, manage emotions and strengthen leadership.
FOR A COMPLIMENTARY 45 MIN PRE-CONSULT
"I discovered how to say ‘No’, in a way that felt powerful yet safe to express. I understood that I have a voice & I can use it."
Ellery helped me create major positive shifts in my relationships. He supported me in reclaiming the freedom and personal dignity that comes from having healthy boundaries.
Most memorable for me, was when I discovered how to say “No”, in a way that felt powerful yet safe to express. It was quite an emotional breakthrough for me. I understood that I have a voice and I can use it to do what I needed to do for myself and be heard.
The effects in my life were real! I was able to protect myself from resentment and burnout at work. I was able to push back unreasonable requests and unwanted opinions without feeling defensive and angry. At home, the communication with my husband became more open, allowing us to be better partners in parenting.
I can now ask for what I need without damaging relationships; there is ease and peace.
"I actually felt a difference in my posture & its positive consequences, either in myself or in the communication with others."
My coaching experience with Ellery was definitely very good for me. I felt really heard and guided into this assertive approach of the Body / Emotion / Language, how they all must grow together. I actually felt a difference in my posture and its positive consequences, either in myself or in the communication with others.
I trust Ellery to coach me, I’ve found him to be very professional, focused in my best interests, always leading me to know more about myself and my behaviour. I find him to be a good coach, as he has this accurate understanding on the many issues that we talked about in our sessions and is able to address them assertively.
I definitely recommend Ellery as a coach, to anyone who wants to deal better with their challenges in life.
Senior SDR, Aspire
"I had challenges with communication due to mental barriers. Working with Ellery, I felt these barriers break down, & a new way of being opened up. I’ve even gotten a promotion!"
Before coming to Ellery, I had challenges with communications due to mental barriers which resulted in much undue stress. Throughout the months working with Ellery, I felt these personal mental barriers slowly break down, and a new way of being opened up for me. A truly liberating experience.
Ellery has a great gift of coaching, using both individualized and practical approaches to give you tools to make changes in your life. He employs active listening and empathy to allow him (and yourself) to uncover barriers in yourself, giving your mind clarity and opening up possibilities that you can work on.
Coupled with practical somatic approaches, you learn to use your body to change your thoughts on the go which I used daily in both my work and personal life. I've even shared it to many of my friends and they have found it useful too.
Thank you Ellery - as testament to the work he's done, I’ve even gotten a promotion!
"His practical tips & tools enabled me to increase my confidence in handling difficult situations & stakeholders."
Before I met Ellery, I was unmotivated both in my personal and work life. But his coaching sessions transformed me within 2 months.
With Ellery’s support, I reconnected with my good habits and got back on my routines. I started my regular walks, set time for meditation. As a result, I managed to complete my tasks on time without distractions!
His practical tips and tools enabled me to increase my confidence in handling difficult situations and stakeholders when I joined a new company during covid period. His techniques are effective because they work both in your mind and in your body.
I would highly recommend him to anyone who want positive changes and impact in their lives. Ellery is a coach who can spot the root of your problems fast and helps you to formulate your own solutions.
"The sessions help me to align what my brain wants & how I can tap my body as well as language to achieve the desired outcomes.
Coach El has helped me move away from my All or Nothing attitude in my professional life by providing me with easy-to-use tools and a range of possible outcomes to focus on rather than a weakly perceived, rigid one. The main tools are my body language, breathing exercise and posture when I engage with my clients, candidates and colleagues.
The sessions help me to align what my brain wants and how I can tap my body language as well as verbal language effectively to acheive the desired outcomes.
Coach El has helped me through a difficult and frustrating second half of 2020 caused by the global pandemic as each session has been freeing in helping me 'see' that different outcomes can be seen with positivity. The rigidity and short-sightedness of the previous lens I used to 'wear' has been slowly replaced by a softer, gentler and more flexible pair of glasses through which I try and view the world today. Thanks a ton, Coach El.
"With swift & artful techniques, Ellery created a lot of clarity, enabled me to take action after each coaching session.
Being coached by Ellery has been illuminating. I brought a topic which I have some clarity over, but have been struggling to understand and manage for years. With swift and artful techniques, Ellery created a lot of clarity, enabled me to experience epiphanic moments and motivated me to take action after each coaching session. I am also particularly grateful for his support during an acute phase of my life in the last 3 months. Thank you, Ellery!
"I overcame the anxiety to speak with people of higher social status... moved me to be effective in my relationships & confidence."
Hi Ellery, just wanted to say a big “thank you" on your coaching over the past few months.
I’m glad that I have decided to work with you. It is really great how easy to be open with you to share with you my thoughts and in the process, you are sharp and could identify with me the perspectives that I didn’t see for myself. It’s like I have a mirror now to look at the blindspots that I have missed or undiscovered.
Your coaching has also helped me to reconnect and realigned deeply with my thoughts, which brings CLARITY that has moved me to be effective in life, in areas of my work, in my relationships and my confidence.
In applying simple techniques that you shared with me, I overcame the anxiety to speak with people of higher social status.
Thank you again and would definitely recommend you to anyone looking for a great coach, who wants to better themselves. Cheers 😉
"El has made me become a more direct communicator. I was able to make my needs well-known to others – thus making my communication with people around me a lot better.
El has made me become a more direct communicator.
Before I went coaching with El, I found it challenging to communicate my requests and expectations to my colleagues and friends. El has helped me figure out these blind spots. By being aware of them, I was able to make my needs well-known to others – thus making my communication with people around me a lot better. I am able to give better clarity to those around me as well, both in work and personal relationships.
I also appreciate how honest El has been with his feedback.
It was very direct, concise, and clear. I appreciate the guidance and the steps he has given me because it makes me think for myself rather than give direct solutions that might not feel genuine to me. He enhances my true colors through his coaching methods and prompts me with questions.
If you are in a position where you think everything feels like it doesn’t go your way, or maybe you are facing some challenges in communicating with those around you, I would highly recommend you go to El! There might be something you can do differently to make a change and impact your environment, happiness, and well-being.
It takes a lot of courage, hard work, and open-mindedness to try this coaching method. But based on my experience – it opens up a lot of possibilities (that initially I thought was not possible), and it makes me feel that there is nothing I can’t do as long as I set my mind, passion, and effort into it. It makes me feel free in a different way and the “I got this” feeling.
Thank you El!
"I’ve had issues communicating with my partner. But after what I learnt from you, I was finally able to speak my thoughts, share my feelings. It was a nothing short of a 180º transformation!"
El, I experienced a breakthrough in my communication after our previous session.
As you know, I’ve had issues communicating with my partner for quite a while. I found it hard to talk to her, and it was difficult to share my feelings with her.
But after what I learnt from you in our previous session, that same night, I had one of the best conversations with my her! I was finally able to speak my thoughts, share my feelings… most importantly, she was finally able to understand and relate to what I was expressing!
It was a nothing short of a 180º transformation, from how we have been!
From the start, I was mindful of the space; I didn’t fall into the trap of having the conversation with her while I was driving. This thing you spotted already made a fundamental difference!
When we sat down to talk, I stayed aware of how I was somatically. I shifted my breath and my body as needed, so I was able to manage my emotions and articulate my needs. The conversation went so smooth, and at the end, I really felt understood. Finally!
I also shared your techniques with my partner, and showed her how to use them. She instantly felt she could calm herself down and be in better control of her words. True enough, when she applied it to talk with her family, she was able to get her message across clearly, without breaking down in tears!
Ever since that day, I felt that I have no problems speaking with people. Incredible, right?
I’ve also been using and sharing this at the workplace, where I often have to help my team deal with interpersonal issues. I feel great that I’m able to improve my communication and to offer the same help to others.
I’m not perfect yet. But this experience was truly insightful, because I can clearly see what I was doing wrong in the past! Now I know how I can make better communication happen!
I feel extremely happy that I’m able to share how I feel and what I need, without offending people. But I’m most happy that I can share my inner thoughts to my partner and be understood.
Looking forward to more!
"Ellery helped improve my confidence & communication. I was easily overcome by anxiety. Now, I can intervene on my emotions & get the outcomes I prefer."
Ellery helped me improve my confidence and communication skills.
I was easily overcome by anxiety. A simple but unexpected “Hello, how are you”, would spike my anxiety. I felt unprepared and had to ‘force’ myself to give a response.
After coaching with Ellery, I can pause and give myself space, distance myself from the problem, and let go of the anxiety. I can change and be calm, through self-awareness.
El helped me demystify what confidence means. I thought I needed to know everything, in order to be confident. He showed me it’s possible to not know things and still be humble and confident. He helped me to shift my mindset and attitude, and make this possible.
What I learnt from Ellery was tested in the first week of my new job and it really had an effect on me! I wasn’t nervous like I originally feared. In fact, a colleague mentioned she really likes my attitude of asking questions and being willing to learn!
Nowadays, when anxiety and self-doubt comes up for me, I can catch what’s true and what are merely assumptions. With this awareness, I can intervene on my emotions and actions, and get the sort of outcomes I prefer. This is different from the past, where I would remain stuck in a loop of self-criticism. I felt that Ellery coached me at the very fundamental level, so that the same principles work no matter what situations I’m in.
Besides my core issues, Ellery also coached me on effective communication skills, particularly when interacting in group settings. This helped me a lot with in my job which required me to communicate in situations I found difficult.
In every session, El equipped me with tools and tailored them to my needs. I learnt interventions that were both linguistic and somatic in nature. By being congruent in my thoughts and my body, I feel more safe and in control. My world became less scary.
The most significant revelation for me is that I have control over my body, and my body can shift my mind. With this, I know I can be in control of my own feelings, whenever I’m aware and want to. For me, this was truly freeing and liberating!
El is able to assess my situations from different angles, test out solutions, and iterate on the spot. Together, we adapted solutions to work in different situations and places, and even to make them covert! Learning through this method, I also managed to iterate my own version of a “confidence hack” which I use at my workplace.
I feel that El is deeply knowledgeable yet not overly theoretical, and he is passionate about the work we do together. Bonus: he’s good at helping me understand and remember things through visual metaphors. One that stuck for me is to “bring the problem into the light so that it dies like vampire”.
Ellery will be a superb coach if you’re looking for practical ways to resolve your anxiety and confidence issues. These were my starting points with El, and I benefited a lot more along the way. You will certainly grow if you practice your self-awareness and the solutions.
"I am able to be more assertive in my requests to my colleagues & managers. And I’ve been able to adopt a more relaxed stance to issues at work."
Ellery has helped me reframe the way I perceive myself in relation to the world. I hadn't realised how much of my perceptions were really the result of self-talk and assumptions. Ellery points out the language I use and how it affects the way I feel when I interact with the world.
On a more tangible level, coaching with Ellery enabled me to manage my feelings of burnout during the COVID19 crisis as well as paying attention to my posture and physical stance.
I am able to be more assertive in my requests to my colleagues and managers. And I’ve been able to adopt a more relaxed stance both physically and mentally to issues at work.
"Working with Ellery was highly worth the investment as I gained so many tools I can use for a lifetime & I have been freed in many ways."
I did 10 sessions with Ellery and it was actually very life-changing for me. Each and every session was jam-packed with the guidance and new perspectives I sorely needed. Some even of things I didn't even know were a block for me.
I really enjoyed how Ellery always made me feel very heard and never once told me what to do. Instead, the self-discoveries he led me on were a lot more impactful that I had ever expected. It led me to form better habits in my career, at home, socially.
I would recommend Ellery to everyone. Working with him was highly worth the investment as I gained so many tools I can use for a lifetime and I have been freed in many ways.
FOR A COMPLIMENTARY 45 MIN PRE-CONSULT
Less Suffering & More Freedom
Through a Life Coach With An Ontological Approach
We thought we understood our world.
We used to navigate life based on the core, unshakable truths we shared. Our decisions were guided by the collective wisdom of government, religion and family, so even in the face of mysteries and challenges, there was a baseline of certainty.
But now, radical new ‘truths’ emerge every other day. As our communities are fragmented by ambiguities, we are pushed to make sense of the world individually. And despite being overwhelmed by information, we know less and fear more.
Therefore, having the support of a personal coach can be highly advantageous if you wish to thrive in this VUCA world. Good coaching is a form of continuous learning that’s personalized for your challenges. A professional coach also provides you a space to process your emotions safely and to formulate your strategies creatively.
As your life coach, I can bring you these benefits, but above all, I will guide you to expand your self-awareness. This will grow your inner resources, and enable you to see possibilities that you couldn’t see before.
Your circumstances may remain uncertain, but you can become more resilient.
The Rise of Coaching
(or, why I would want a life coach)
The increasing number of searches for life coaches is not just happening in Singapore. It is part of a larger trend that is rapidly growing in various developed countries for the following reasons:
- Automation, the internet and social media quicken the pace of life and raise expectations to overwhelming levels
- The world grows more volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous (VUCA) by the day
- The preference for individualization over traditional institutions (such as government, religion and family), resulting in people having to navigate a VUCA world independently
- Post-COVID, professional and personal communities become even smaller and more decentralized, increasing the need to be competent at use of self to manage relationships
- Feeling alone, despite being connected 24/7. This can be especially true for people in leadership positions, as they may have no one to confide in safely
- “High-tech, low-touch” – our interactions become less personable and empathetic as internet culture continues to shape the physical world, exacerbated by COVID-19
As we scramble to cope – and hopefully, to flourish – under the above factors, we inevitably run into proverbial brick walls that we just cannot seem to get over. They could be big, dramatic events, or issues that are more low-key but consistently show up in certain areas of your life.
They could be matters that are external, or something we are holding in our minds (or hearts). It could be a boss that you just cannot seem to please; a co-worker who you just can’t seem to get along with; a friend or family member who repeatedly triggers you; or something inside you that you feel is lacking, or preventing you from ‘moving on’.
Wisdom & New Learning
You sense that there is a need to work on yourself, and may have turned to resources such as self development books, training programs and the internet to better your inner self. This is good awareness, and I congratulate you for it.
The internet can be a handy resource. But while Googling and watching YouTube may get you information, that’s not the same as wisdom. It takes wisdom – knowing how to make use of information – to make real breakthroughs.
To survive in a world that changes nearly on a daily basis, we need to be able to look at things anew. This hinges on our ability for learning – learning that’s not one-size-fits-all, but customized for each individual. Learning that arises from awareness of self and of others.
Coaching is the process where such learning and wisdom for an individual is generated.
AI may become more and more advanced, but it takes a human soul to truly understand another, and to reflect that understanding through empathy and insight. This acting as a “human mirror” is the unique offering of a good life coach. Jack Ma alluded to this when he spoke about “LQ” – the quotient of love.